My father died on Good Friday several years ago, from an aneurysm that erupted inside his brain. On Easter of this year, I survived a hemorrhagic stroke, which, whether there was a weak point in a blood vessel or not, is an eerily similar thing to have happen. Massive brain bleeding. Providence is always and everywhere, but sometimes it requires we notice it. We were also only a year apart in age when it happened. We were/are both relatively young. Relatively athletic. Blah, blah, blah.
The Lord took him, but left me. He finished his work more quickly than I have finished mine, I believe.
There are times I wish I had gone to see Jesus, as my father did, and times I am glad I did not. Why did God leave me, but with a warning, as it seems?
My father was hosting an "end of year" party for his Sunday School class. I was sitting on my couch surfing the internet. Other circumstances further underscore the difference in our lives to this point. I pray the Lord gives me some of what He gave my father in terms of character qualities I lack. This post may be a little depressing, but reflection is healthy. Self-assessment and contemplation of the Lord's works should help guide us to biblical application. I frankly don't know if you will benefit, or not, but I am certain I will. So, please be patient a minute. I don't plan on "documenting my journey," but a few public thoughts may serve us both to live better. I am not to praise if I respond well. I'm not looking for that, or sympathy.
My father ran a lot, as in, marathons. I am fairly fit, but I don't run marathons. I never have. My father was not at his fittest at the time of his death, but not really at his worst, either. I believe we should be fit, and I am sure going to work harder at it now. God designed us to be warriors and builders and keepers of the garden. I have underperformed, I am certain. God's overwhelming grace does not excuse my mediocrity.
I am certain that we should be submitted to He with Whom we all have to do. In everything. Our personal lives, and our civic lives. I am convicted that "civic life" does not primarily refer to time on social media, though it may have a small place in the grand scheme. Man knows not his time.
I am grateful for many things, but I am especially grateful that the Lord did not remove my children's father, yet. They are good people, but having gone through an early exit (from my perspective) by my father, I hope I am here to serve them for a good while longer. And I hope to also be of worthwhile use to you and yours. Pray for yours, and train them diligently. The days can seem dark at times. And impish forces lust after your wife and children, and the laws restrain you. May God have mercy on us all.